Paper over rock; earning the right to lead

"If you wanna be trusted, you gotta be trustworthy." – Drake

Strong. Powerful. Convicted. “Never let ‘em see you sweat.”

This is what we’re told when stepping into a leadership role. Be the rock. Be the force. Never stand irresolute. I get it, and I agree these are important traits. As a leader, you must move the immovable, and you can’t do that if you’re wavering from your post.

I had an experience when I was younger, training with a soon-to-be UFC fighter. We would grapple, and it would be like wrestling a rabid dog. He would kick my ass. You would see his skill and stature and assume he would be a hardened man, but that wasn’t the case. He was sweet, calm, and gentile, and in one instance, he felt so poorly about his performance against me (that he clearly won) that he asked if I’d help him drill moves. It was a lesson. He could dominate without making others feel dominated and move himself and everyone else forward.

Vulnerability and leadership are not usually two things we put together. While it may seem counter-intuitive and sometimes a little scary, the new generation of workers requires us to be authentic and show as much of our true selves as possible.

So how might we do that?

1) Admit and own your mistakes. We all make them. Leadership is about home runs, not batting average. You will fail more than you win. The more willing you are to admit and own your mistakes, not make excuses, point fingers, or avoid responsibility, the more others will trust you.

2) Don’t take yourself too seriously. Not everything is profound or requires a reaction. Sometimes, the only response is humor, which is especially powerful as it can give a group a healthy perspective when times are tough.

3) Share your own process, journey, and challenges. You didn’t arrive at leadership by accident. You did things - some really good and some really bad. Everyone goes through a process of growth, discovery, and challenge. The more transparent we are about our methodology, the more we let others know who we are, give them insight into how we operate, and create an environment conducive to individual and collective growth.

4) Ask for help. Requesting help is not an admission of weakness. It is a sign of strength. You are willing to put yourself in that vulnerable space to get to the best version of right.

Now, I want to caveat everything I’m saying. All of your team members will regress to your worst habits. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable only works if you are excellent at the more tactical parts of your work. The time you log on is the time your team will log on. How you make a document will signal the minimum requirements for everyone else. The effort you put into a customer call will become the minimum standard, and so on.

Being a leader is unusual. Being a fantastic leader is never something you attain but strive to achieve. It requires hard work, dedication, and constant and never-ending improvement. The goal of a leader is not an extraordinary amount of wealth but an extraordinary amount of respect. You are not training a team to hit this month's quota. You are training a team of exceptional individuals who will be lifelong partners in your professional journey. That only happens with trust.

Until next time.